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How to Love Yourself: What To Do When You Are Struggling With Self-love

How to Love Yourself: What To Do When You Are Struggling With Self-love

You constantly see all this talk about self-love, it’s importance and how to achieve it.

But it’s not always that easy.

Maybe you have spent 20+ years putting yourself down and hating yourself. So it’s not going to be an overnight transition to just decide to love yourself, you have to totally rewire your brain.

So first accept that it’s not going to happen right away, you are going to have to work towards it and it will take time. In the end you will be so grateful that you made the change because it will incredibly transform your life.

Once you’ve made the decision to make a change, follow these steps to find yourself falling more in love with yourself each day!

1. Do more of what makes you happy.

What makes you feel happy, confident, capable- whether that is knitting, drawing, working out, gardening, anything that makes you feel in your element.

You need to take the time for yourself to discover what you enjoy and allow yourself to nurture your interests and talents. Doing so will help you maintain your own identity and develop into the person you are meant to be. It will help you find your full potential, to a place where you feel more worthy of love, from yourself and others.

2. Begin Journaling

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Focus on gratitude. Gratitude is accepting your life for all that it is instead of wishing for things to be different.

Every day write down what are you grateful for, especially those most taken for granted- you can walk, you can speak, you have a house, etc.

Then focus on what talents you have. What do you love about yourself, not focusing on the physical, focus on your talents, your personality traits- this can be hard as I mentioned above as some of us are constantly putting ourselves down.

You need to flip your mental outlook and search for the things you take for granted. Maybe you are a very kind person.  Remind yourself of this trait and that it is a great personality trait to have. Maybe you are a fabulous guitar player, knitter, or writer. Search for everything you love about yourself and put all of your focus on those things

3. Start Daily Positive Self-affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements that are repeated until that statement becomes a belief. If you plant the seed in your mind and nurture it the chance of it growing is greater than if you don’t even plant the seed in the first place. Even if you do not believe it at first, put a sticky on your mirror that says what you would like to one day believe about yourself.  It may feel weird doing this, but trust me!  It works!

“good morning beautiful, you are going to make a difference today. You are strong, capable and kind.“

You may find it hard to tell yourself these things if you truly do not believe them, but again consider yourself like a friend.  It’s as if you are supporting your friend, who may not believe the good things about themselves, but that does not mean they are not true. Self-affirmations will help you see and appreciate your positive attributes, capabilities and worth.

4. Meditate

meditation-self-love-meditate

Meditation can help with just about anything, including self-love.  It will clear negative thoughts and give you the opportunity to transition to positive thoughts instead. This makes meditation a great way to work on self-love.  Search for “self-love guided meditation” on Youtube.  These guided meditations are fabulous, and filled with positive self-affirmations as discussed above. Here’s a good one to get you started.

Or try Headspace

Related post: Meditation: How to Calm Your Mind

5. Create a self-care routine

Firstly, take care of your basic necessities.  Shower, brush and floss your teeth. Once this is a regular routine add in some more time for additional self-care that you enjoy.  Check out this list of simple self-care ideas here.  Pick your favourite or try some of them out, see what brings you the most peace and joy.

Think of it in the same way you think of spending your time doing something for somebody else(e.g. your child, your spouse, your friend). You are doing something that will make you feel loved.

Related post: Simple Self-care Ideas: Making Time to Care for Yourself

Join my 10-Day Self-care Challenge to get you started on a self-care routine!

So there are 5 areas to focus on if you are struggling with self-love.  Hopefully you find these topics help you move towards a place where you can truly love yourself.

Related post: How to Ditch Self-doubt, Build Self-worth, & Truly Love Yourself

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