You are fabulous, you are unique, you have strengths, and weaknesses.
You have dreams, desires, hopes, and wishes.
But you also experience self-doubt, uncertainty and indecisiveness.
Self-doubt is a common life experience. Without self-worth, self-doubt will feel much more disempowering and all experiences, and achievements are minimized. If you accept thoughts of self-doubt you will focus more on negative experiences and what you have not yet achieved. This negative focus will allow self-doubt to defeat you.
There is not a question about if you will experience self-doubt, it is a question of how you will deal with it and overcome it when it happens. If you are aware that thoughts of self-doubt do not define you and you can move past them then you will be successful.
Self worth has to come from within. You cannot find it in outward possessions or from other people. You have to work towards evaluating your thoughts and having a positive uplifting mental perspective. I am not saying this is easy; it can be super tough. However, if you want it enough and commit to working towards it you can get there!
Here I will share some ways I have found help me change my thought process to grow self-worth.
1. Write down everything you love about yourself
Write down anything about yourself that you love. If you love your ability to make friends, or if you love your ability to make others feel loved. Once you can point out these things you will bring them to the forefront and put more focus on them, instead of focusing on attributes that you currently see as negative.
If you struggle with finding things you love about yourself, start with what you know about yourself. Things you like, things you don’t like, things you are good at, personality traits you know you possess, your core values (kindness, love, compassion, etc.)
- love dogs
- hate tomatoes
- like to dance
- enjoy painting, etc.
This is where I started, trying to figure out just who I was and what I liked and did not like. You cannot truly love someone you do not know. The same goes for yourself if you do not yet know who you are, start by getting to know yourself. Once you know yourself it will be easier to work towards self-love and self-worth.
2. Find things you enjoy and do more of them
This goes along with figuring out who you are. Once you find things that are important to you, focus on spending time doing them.
Whether that is:
Going outside for a walk
Watching favourite movies, etc.
Doing these things is a form of self-care, which is important in feeling self-love and in turn self-worth.
This will help you remember what matters to you and bring you a sense of self-worth by bringing yourself joy.
Related post: Simple Self-care Ideas: Making Time to Care for Yourself
3. Stop dwelling on other people’s opinions of you and your decisions
This is a tough one. Especially in the day of social media, which is totally based around sharing things with people you barely know and hoping they like it.
I think most people keep close friends and family updated on their life personally, in person or at least over the phone or by text message. Social media is then just used to let all the other acquaintances know. We obsess about getting notifications letting us know that so-and-so liked our photo- this has absolutely NOTHING to do with who we are, or our self worth! It is no reflection on us, but it is a big focus in many of our lives.
You cannot control what others think; if they think down on you that is their issue and not yours. You know what you are doing and why you are doing it better than anyone else. Stay confident in your choices, you are independent, and capable and you are the only one who can decide what you want, nobody else can do that for you. We all do the best we can; we all make choices that we believe are the best for us personally. Different people have different beliefs, situations, etc, and may make different choices for those reasons, no one ever knows all of somebodies considerations when trying to make a decision, so one cannot judge anyone else’s decisions.
No matter what you do there are going to be people who are judging your actions and decisions, but this is something that those people have to work on. You cannot change what you do to please everyone; you will drive yourself crazy because it will never happen. Those kinds of people will always be out there. Try not to surround yourself with these kinds of people. In some cases these people are a part of your family and you don’t want to totally separate from them, but you have to keep in mind that their opinions of you are not who you are. What you can do is hope for them to one day realize their negative thought processes and to one day improve themselves to be accepting and supportive of others.
4. Stop comparison
You never know what other people are dealing with. We tend to compare our weaknesses to other peoples strengths because that is what we see online.
Everyone has different trials and struggles, so comparison of other people’s success to your own is just not fair. They may be succeeding in this one aspect that you are focusing on but this person may not feel as though they have succeeded and may be struggling with another aspect of life that you yourself have achieved but are failing to focus on. Comparison is largely based on focus and perspective and not based on facts and reality.
Social media plays a large part in the vast majority of people today comparing themselves to other people and putting themselves down because they are not as thin as this certain girl on Facebook, or can’t cook as well as this person on Instagram. If necessary, cut out your social media usage. Either decrease it or cut it out all together by deleting Facebook/Instagram, etc.
The only fair comparison is comparing to yourself from one day to the next; you can continually try to improve yourself, compared to yesterday try to get just a little bit further. By adding successful days one on top of another you will gradually improve yourself.
5. Make goals and plans to achieve them.
Making goals will keep you focused on what you want in life and what is important to you.
Reward yourself for accomplishments and focus on what you do accomplish instead of what you do not.
This will give you a sense of purpose and control. A lot of the time when we experience self-doubt, depression, and anxiety we feel as though we have a loss of control. Making a plan no matter how small or simple will bring you some amount of control. Once you find that you have control over your life, you will feel much more self confident and motivated.
When I was in a super unmotivated time in my life where I didn’t want to do anything, my one goal for a certain day may have been get up, get ready for the day, and go for a walk. Even if that was the only productive thing I did that day, I viewed it as an accomplishment. Then maybe the next day my goal was get up and get ready for the day, and walk to get a couple groceries. Once I did that- success, another productive day.
A lot of the time we know something is missing but we are searching in the wrong places. We search through physical, outward possessions. When we should be improving our mental, inward beliefs and thoughts.
Controlling our mental perspective is the main way to build self-worth. Practicing mindfulness and accepting your life exactly how it is at any given point will make a huge difference in your feeling of self-worth.
Leave a comment letting me know your biggest struggle to growing your self-worth and how you overcame it!
If you enjoyed this post share it on Pinterest!